It’s been nine years now since I gave my life to Christ. These years have been great, they have not only come with triumphs, but trials as well.
I wish I could tell you that I’ve never had a depressed thought again, that I’ve never questioned God’s love for me, and that I’ve trusted God in every area of my life, but that would be false.
Matthew 5:45 NKJV says,
“… For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”
You see life is hard for the believer and the unbeliever. The only difference with a believer is that they don’t walk through this roller coaster we call life alone.
In high school my relationship with God was filled with mostly triumphs. I had trials, but all failed into comparison to the new found peace I found in Christ.
When college started, I found myself miles away from my best friend and without a church home. Life was so uncertain. Life as I once knew it was changing again. Real life was beginning, and real life is where our faith can be truly tested.
I was no longer with all the people I grew up with. I had new found independence from my parents and was surrounded by all types of people from different backgrounds. When I finally found a new church home, I felt welcomed, but so alone. I didn’t have the familiarity of my other church friends, leaders, or pastors. While I smiled at the new church, I was silently falling back into depression and isolating myself from others.
I would leave church service early and go to a local park and cry. From my childhood, I had always dealt a bit with rejection. That spirit of rejection began to magnify when I isolated myself and began to listen to the lies Satan whispered in my ear.
“They don’t like you.”
“You’ll never fit in.”
“You’re all alone.”
I began to cry out to God. I began to say those very lies to God.
I would say,
“Jesus I feel so alone.”
“Why isn’t my family here with me?”
“I don’t fit in here.”
“Nobody loves me.”
To those lies, He would respond in truth.
“You are not alone.”
“You are loved.”
“I am here with you.”
When the Holy Spirit would whisper that truth to me, I found comfort and peace in His words. As I began to stand on the truth of the Holy Spirit, the word of God got louder, and the lies from Satan began to silence.
That is one example of a trial I endured and walked through. Some trials in my life have been smaller than this one, but most much larger. However,the size of the trial fails in comparison to the size of my God.
I have since graduated college and continue to attend that same church. The same church that I once felt so alone in, I can now call the people there my family. My mother has given her life to Christ, and I have since seen God do great things in and around my life.
I am not defined by the trials I have walked through. By walking with Christ, my trials do not overtake me. I overtake my trials by walking through them with Christ guiding my every step.
Psalm 119:105 NKJV
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”