In just a few days, I will celebrate two years of marriage to my high school sweetheart. As I sit and reflect not only on the two years of marriage but the last 9 years we have spent together, I cannot help but thank God for each and every day.
Everyone asked after the first few months of marriage, have you had your first big fight yet? Has he gotten on your nerves?
Actually, no. A few disagreements maybe, but nothing that has kept us in a bad mood for more than a few minutes.
Some may say I lucked up with a great marriage or found my perfect match. However, fear tells me another story. Fear tells me to wait around every corner for hell to break loose in my marriage.
Marriage has always been the most terrifying thing to me. I grew up surrounded by unsuccessful marriages. Even the ones that did not end in divorce, were nothing but a prison for the two.
“Marriage is for life,” I heard growing up in church. What if I ended up trapped in a marriage that was miserable when I thought I would love this person forever?
God had to heal me a lot before my wedding day in order for me to consider committing my life to Brandon. There was no doubting I loved him. I was just afraid for so long of that love ending.
However, God placed some godly marriages in my life just when I needed it most. He restored hope that marriage could be something beautiful. In these marriages, I saw perseverance through the hard times, and love that did not waver through the decades.
So on March 25, 2017, I took a step out in faith and said “yes” to my best friend. I put on the white dress and walked down the aisle to the promise of God waiting for me at the end of it. As I said my vows, I felt an overwhelming peace. I felt gratitude that God had sent this man into my life to show me what real love was like. To this date, choosing to do life with him has been the best decision I have made (aside from giving my life to Christ).
Although my hope in marriage was restored, the devil still likes to bring back that fear. He tells me I am not good enough for my husband, and one day he will decide to leave me. I sometimes strive to be a better wife out of fear of losing him rather than my love for him.
The enemy attacks the things that are good in life and keeps you from embracing the memories to be had in the here and now.
Every time I become crippled by my fear, God reminds me of the beautiful marriages he placed in the latter part of my life. He has promised to make this marriage beautiful from beginning to end. So when the devil’s lies come, I hold on to the promises of God.
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6 (ESV)
When the devil says, “Work harder to keep your husband”,
God says “Work less and let me carry the weight”.
“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:14 (ESV)
When the devil says, “Your marriage will only be happy for a season”,
God says, “I renew your marriage daily and make it new”.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
When the devil says, “Your husband may want to leave you for better looking woman”,
God says, “you were created for such a time as this”.
Fear cripples us temporarily, but God’s words are eternal.
Marriage will definitely have its challenges. This I am sure of. However, I also know God’s word stands, and the challenges will not end my marriage. We will walk through life’s challenges with our love still intact.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” Isaiah 43:2 (ESV)
If you find yourself fearful of marriage and love because of the world around you, just know that God is writing your love story. Do not let the lies of the devil distract you from the beauty of what love can be when a relationship is centered around Christ. We need a generation of individuals ready to fight for the sake of love and marriage, not cowering in fear as the devil would have us. Because when two people choose to love like God intended, powerful things unfold.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)