When I Am Weak He Is Strong| By Jasmine Beard

“I don’t want to strive for your love anymore God.


I am so sick and tired of wanting you to be proud of me because of my actions.


Am I doing a good job?


Maybe if I could stop being such a screw up, you’d love me.”

This was me less than a month ago gushing out my heart in bewilderment to God. I had a commitment to share for a ministry in less than two days, and I felt as though I was literally about to lose my mind.

Why you may ask? The answer is simple I felt inadequate and as though I had nothing to share. On top of this, I felt distant from God.

I thought of how someone else could do so much of a better job at sharing for this ministry than myself.

I knew my feelings were rooted in the spirit of pride, but I asked the Lord “where does my insecurity stem from?”

I remember growing up in school and having no problem sharing in front of the class

(I was quite the ham), but after grade school and into college years, I had become more reserved, more self-aware, and more insecure than I had ever been before.

As I pondered on that thought, the Holy Spirit told me, “when you feel inadequate it’s because you are not leaning into the reliance of the Holy Spirit.”

For as long as I can remember, my life verse, or the verse that the Holy Spirit whispers to my heart the most often, is Proverbs 3:5-6 it says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

You would think with how many times the Lord has whispered that into my spirit, I would have it down pat by now, but nope.

In my mind, all I could think about was how I was not doing all of the things..

You know, the praying for hours soaking in His presence kind of things.

Or reading the Bible for hours on end.

I have always been a perfectionist, a doer, a striver, a hard worker, a go-getter of sorts. While at times this mindset has helped me throughout my life, other times it has been one of my biggest downfalls, especially in my walk with Christ.

You may be thinking what is wrong with wanting to be perfect or being a hard worker? Essentially, nothing is wrong with either of those qualities, but the truth is I am not perfect, and there is nothing I can do to become perfect.

When I feel the need to perform or to be perfect, it is because I have stepped away from simply abiding in the Father. Abiding in Him means I take off all of the pressure I place on myself to be perfect and lean into the Perfect God who has infinite love, wisdom and strength for all of life’s circumstances.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5 (NLT)

There is so much safety in relying on God and not myself. The Bible tells us in our weakness He is strong. The truth is we are all screw-ups, but God loves us in the midst of all of our garbage, setbacks, and failures.

So those two days came and went, it was finally my turn to share with the women of that ministry. I walked into that opportunity with no nerves, and no sense to perform. I simply shared of God’s goodness, relied on Him, and gave Him all the glory He deserves.

Girlfriend, let me tell you, it is not about you. It has never been about you, and it will never be about you. So do that thing that scares you, do that thing that God has called you to, do that thing that requires you to step out of your own reasoning and strength and rely on God to do the work.

If we are going to accomplish anything for God, we have to remember it is for His name’s sake. It is so His name will be glorified and that all will know of His unwavering love for them.

But Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost and ungodly! Romans 5:8 (TPT)

When Following Christ Becomes Hard| By Tori Savoy

Christianity has been a part of my life since I accepted Christ into my heart at the age of five. Yet, sometimes being a Christian is still difficult for me.

From the outside looking in, it may appear I have it all together and that I am happy. Yes, I have unspeakable joy my Savior has given me, but I still have my off days, or sometimes months.  

Sometimes I catch myself going through dry spells where I am not as devout to spending time with God as I would like to. I will begin to compare myself to other Christians around me and feel as if I am not as good at this “Christian thing” as I have led myself to believe. My failure consumes my mind and makes me want to run away and never return. However, my faithful and loving Savior always ushers me back in.

I have found since becoming part of a ministry that the enemy likes to attack me all the more in this area and tell me I am not fit to be sharing my testimonies with the world. His attacks make me feel as if I am not a good model of what Christianity is suppose to be.

However, God tells me differently. Christianity is merely a sinner making the choice every day to lay their sins at the feet of Jesus and share His love and forgiveness with the world.

Jesus’ disciples are a prime example that being a follower of Him is not always easy, but that we do not have to be perfect to be transformed and used by Him.

I have often time caught myself embracing my failures like Judas, who betrayed Jesus for worldly treasure. Judas’ regret following the betrayal drove him to the point of taking his own life.

Sometimes, my guilt for not being a “better” Christian causes me to avoid any contact with God.  This results in severe depression for me when all I need to do is bring my failures before a forgiving Savior to start all over – just as the apostle Peter did.

Peter is one of my biggest reminders of God’s faithfulness to use someone imperfect like me. He was one of God’s most devout followers, and yet, He failed God on numerous occasions.

He walked on water with God in the midst of the storm, but began to sink as soon as His doubt set in. Still, He was the only disciple who even tried to step on the water in the middle of the storm.

Despite being warned of God of his upcoming unfaithfulness, Peter still denied having any association to Christ. Although I have never denied my Christianity, I know many times I may sugar coat it or just not mention my Christianity to those around me.

Luckily, we are never too far gone or have made so many mistakes that God cannot shape and mold us to use you and me for His glory.

After Jesus ascended into Heaven following the crucifixion and resurrection, Peter preached to people from all over and won many souls to Christ. He died a martyr for the name of Jesus.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

Just because you started off making mistakes does not mean that is where it ends for you. We can let our failures define us or give them to God and let Him define us. We can let our failures become a testimony, or allow them consume us to the point of spiritual death.

God never asked for perfection, but that we continue to follow him. Yes, following Him will be hard, and we will have to pick up our cross daily. However, He can turn our mess into a great message.

Today, I challenge you to be open with God about your shortcomings so he can make something beautiful with them. Do not try to outrun a Savior that is standing there for you with arms wide open.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)