Choosing God Over Porn|By Gabby Jones

Shame is a touchy subject in my life. I have carried shame on my shoulders since I was 11 years old. It was around that age that I began looking at porn. Nothing or no one led me to look at it, I was just a curious little girl who happened to click on the wrong link. 

Back then, I was not saved. However, I was still full of shame because it was unheard of for a woman to look at porn. After I received Christ, when I was 15, a completely different shame came over me. 

How could a CHRISTIAN WOMAN look at such vulgar material. Only men struggle with that. You are supposed to be a Christian. You are not supposed to watch stuff like that. 

Those thoughts went through and are still going through my head. It took me 14 years to admit I was a porn addict, but it also took me 14 years to realize I do not have to do this alone.

There are very few people who know about my addiction because I was so ashamed and afraid to tell anyone, even my family. Porn is one of those things you can do in private, and no one would ever know just by looking at you. Unlike other addictions (alcohol, drugs, food), porn is easier to hide on the outside, but it does more damage on the inside. Due to my damaged insides, I felt hopeless for so long. I did not think I could ever get over this one hill. If I could just win this one battle, I could do anything. I then began to get angry. I was angry at myself and God. I was angry at myself because I could not stop, and I blamed God for allowing this in my life. 

Then I heard God speak, “You have free will. You chose to look at it; you chose to continuously choose porn over me.” 

That shook me up. I did not want anything getting in the way of my relationship with God, yet I kept choosing this sin over Him, time and time again. Yet, each time, He would speak to me gently and welcome me back in His love. That night, I made a choice to choose Him every time. 

“The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need.” Psalms 23:1 (GNB)

I started going to a group after that, but I still carried a dark cloud of shame because I knew I would be the only person in my group who struggled with porn. As a woman, it was embarrassing, but as a Christian, I knew they would welcome me with open arms. I did not speak about my addiction for a while, but when I did, they told me how they prayed for someone who would open that door to help other women with the same issue. Ladies, that door is open, and the conversation is on. It does not matter what sin you go back to again and again, there is no shame or condemnation in Christ. 

The God of many chances is calling your name, and He is calling you out of your sin, addiction, guilt and shame. There is nothing you have done, are doing, or going to do, that will change God’s mind about how much He loves you. Drop those shame chains and run freely to the love, strength and freedom God has for you.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10 (NIV)

Although I still struggle with porn today, it is easier to fight back with God as my strength and with the women who are surrounding me. Do not fight this fight alone. Call on God’s strength and get a rock solid support system. Your freedom is waiting.

“Freedom is what we have — Christ has set us free! Stand, then, as free people, and do not allow yourselves to become slaves again.” Galatians 5:1 (GNB)

Let Us Return to the Lord| By Tori Savoy

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“Just give up on me. I am not worth it any longer,” I told, or basically yelled, toward God.

My guilt had overwhelmed me, and I felt as if I would never be good enough to be loved by a perfect Savior. Even though I knew God gives us forgiveness, I could not quite forgive myself enough to accept God’s love again. I kept failing Him time and time again. I did not feel deserving of His love. All I felt was shame.

But Romans 8:35-39 (NLT) tells us differently.

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”)

37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The love of God is something we could never earn, and if we cannot earn it, how could we lose access to it?

One of the most impactful books of the Bible for me is the book of Hosea. A prophet of God, Hosea was given instructions to take Gomer, a prostitute, as his wife. Yet, over the course of their marriage, she remained unfaithful and went chasing after her lovers.

Eventually, she became used up and worthless to the point no man wanted her. However, Hosea bought her back for a costly price.

“She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. Then she will say, “I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better off than now.'” Hosea 2:7 (NIV)

“When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, ‘Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.’” Hosea 1:2 (NIV)

This story is a representation of God’s love for us. We have chased after our lovers whether that be a person, money, or success to fulfill us. God knew before we were even born that we would rebel and be unfaithful to him. Yet, He willingly chose to go to the cross and pay the highest price for our souls.

“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Yes, there will be consequences to our decisions, but God is always waiting with open arms to forgive and shower us in love.

“Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.” Hosea 6:1 (NIV)

The Devil will fill your heart with shame. But God will shower it in forgiveness. The Enemy will make you feel hatred for yourself. But God will reign down His love upon you. No matter how broken you return, God just wants you back in His arms so He can mend you.

If you are dealing with guilt over mistakes you have made, God is calling you to return to him. He is waiting with open arms and unending love for you. Nothing can separate you from that love, and no love of this world can compare to the love of a Savior.