Healing Comes in Desperation|By Jasmine Beard


“I have touched the hem of Your garment.

I have felt the leading of Your hand.

But today, my eyes look much higher to see the face of the great I am…”

I love that song. As I sing those words, I often imagine myself as the woman with the issue of blood in the Bible.

Just like the woman with the issue of blood, we all have an issue, a dream, or a desperation to see Jesus show up, heal, and change our circumstance.

That issue may be for healing from an illness, conceiving a child after years spent battling infertility, the salvation of a child or spouse, or maybe freedom from repetitive bondage in life.

My issue is not something life altering or something I cannot live without, but a deferred promise. This promise God spoke to me when I was just 17-years old, the promise of marriage. My circumstance is much different from an unexplained issue of blood, but it’s still my circumstance.

It is the one thing in my life that I have often shied away from. Shied away from talking about. Shied away from writing about. And shied away from praying about. My issue, if you’d call it that, has oftentimes been something that embarrassed me rather than brought me into a place of desperation for Jesus to heal me.

Luke 8:43-48 TPT says:

43 In the crowd that day was a woman who had suffered greatly for twelve years from slow bleeding. Even though she had spent all that she had on healers, she was still suffering.

44 Pressing in through the crowd, she came up behind Jesus and touched the tassel of his prayer shawl. Instantly her bleeding stopped and she was healed.

45 Jesus suddenly stopped and said to his disciples, “Someone touched me. Who is it?”

While they all denied it, Peter pointed out, “Master, everyone is touching you, trying to get close to you. The crowds are so thick we can’t walk through all these people without being jostled.”

46 Jesus replied, “Yes, but I felt power surge through me. Someone touched me to be healed, and they received their healing.”

47 When the woman realized she couldn’t hide any longer, she came and fell trembling at Jesus’ feet. Before the entire crowd she declared, “I was desperate to touch you, Jesus, for I knew if I could just touch even the fringe of your robe I would be healed.”

48 Jesus responded, “Beloved daughter, your faith in me has released your healing. You may go with my peace.”

Recently, I turned 26-years-old, just five days after Valentine’s Day. I have never noticed or cared about my birthday’s proximity to this love holiday, until this year.

This was the first year, ever… that I thought, “I wish I had a valentine”.

I quickly shrugged off those feelings, but could sense through the busyness of life that I was a bit disheartened by this. And that I had actually been hiding these feelings for years.

I did not want to tell Jesus how I felt. I knew my singleness wasn’t His fault. I knew that I could trust Him at His word. I knew He was a promise-keeper. Yet, I was still sad, but I didn’t want to admit that to God. I felt it would be ungrateful to do so.

That is when the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart, “tell me how you feel. Whether you think your feelings are just or not, tell me. I want to heal every part of your heart.”

Just like God cared about the woman with the issue of blood and longed to heal her from illness, He also longed to heal my aching heart. He wanted me to stop hiding in the crowd pretending like singleness did not make me sad.

He wanted me to press through the crowd and say, “Jesus, I have a problem, and I know that you are the solution.”

When healing takes longer than expected or when hope has been deferred, it can sometimes feel easier not to pray about a situation anymore. The women with the issue of blood however, did not lose hope. She held unto the promise of God’s healing, and she knew He would touch her situation.

God longed for me to get real about my issue and get desperate for the healing He desired to do in my heart. He wanted me to be desperate enough to touch the hem of His garment just as the woman with the issue of blood did.

Maybe you have been battling something for years. And year after year, you have seen no avail to your circumstance. I want to encourage you to be persistent and unembarrassed by your circumstance. Will you still run after Him when that healing takes longer than expected? Will you still hope when hope is deferred? Will you touch the hem of His garment because you know He has the power and desire to change your situation?

I leave you with these verses. These verses remind me of the faithfulness of God and display the very character of who He is.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Nevertheless, the time will come when I will heal Jerusalem’s wounds and give it prosperity and true peace.” Jeremiah‬ ‭33:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalms‬ ‭37:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

When God Doesn’t Move The Mountain| By Tori Savoy

IMG_6367

Faith is strong enough to move mountains, but what will happen to your faith when the mountain does not move?

“God moves mountains” has become a common phrase in Christian culture. The mountain is a metaphor for the trials and tribulations standing in our way. It is another way of saying “God can do the impossible” if you have the faith necessary, which is completely scriptural and true.

However, we sometimes forget that while God CAN accomplish the impossible in our lives, it may not always be the exact miracle we were praying for.

About two years ago, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and the journey has been one of the hardest I have ever experienced. Not only did it begin to deteriorate my physical health, my mental health began to be greatly impacted. Depression and anxiety are common symptoms of this condition, and boy did those hit me hard. It was hard for people to understand exactly what I was going through, and I always felt like I was a burden to those around me. I had never felt so alone in my life. On numerous occasions, my symptoms got so hard to deal with that I even asked God to end my life so I could be free of the pain.

With tears rolling down my face, I cried out to God one night asking why he was not taking away this pain.

I heard a soft whisper from above, “My child, you are waiting for me to move a mountain that I intended for you to climb.”

For years, I always heard that mountains move. Never did I consider climbing one.

“Climb it? But what for? Why is this my mountain to climb? Why can’t I climb a different mountain?” my frustrated mind asked God.

But you see, I did not need to know the answer to that. I needed to just have faith in his plan.

Faith does not only move mountains. Faith can transform us and take us places we never thought we would go before.

Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

Faith is taking a step out (or up a mountain) into the unknown, facing something scary before us, and serving God despite not knowing what will happen in the end.

So on that difficult night, I decided to use my pain to bring God glory. To trust him, pack up my climbing gear, and aim for that mountaintop. No matter how difficult the climb got, I knew that as I ascended up the mountain I was further away from that valley below me.

And boy does the top of that mountain have a gorgeous view! Once I reached the top, I finally saw the beauty of his master plan in its entirety as I looked down on the valleys that once held me captive.

The climb has shaped me into who I am, brought me closer to God, and allowed me to have more compassion for others’ struggles.

What will happen to your faith when the mountain doesn’t move? Will you camp out in your valley and loathe in self pity, or will you take on that mountain with full faith?

“I lift my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalms 121:1-2